Can I ask you a question? The answer should always be no.
Tonight I ran into Barnes and nobles to pick up a gift for a friend. I happen to be a bit obsessed with books so I grabbed what I needed and wandered around looking for anything that jumped out at me. Yup totally judging books by their covers. I was almost nearing the escalator when a table with “Required reading for school” I was curious since I think I mostly read cliffs notes in high school. I was browsing the table when this strange, manic and slightly psycho looking Asian man came up and started talking to me. (I am pretty sure he was foaming at the mouth)
He approached me like he wanted directions. I thought he was going to say “where is the history section?” or “do you work here?” Although dressed in a warm wool coat with a scarf tied tightly around my freezing neck was pretty much proof that I wasn’t “on the clock” I thought that maybe he was late for a party and forgot a gift or something like that. But instead of asking where something was he asked: “May I ask you a question?” Now this had me on guard and slightly annoyed. But I said “yes” and then he asked if I was from Europe because I have an accent. I think I gave him a puzzled look and said “No”. Now I was perturbed and hardly listening. Honestly thinking is he trying to pick up on me? as he rushes on with “That wasn’t my question”
So he busts out with a diatribe about talking to a friend and a friend told him something that didn’t really make a lot of sense to me and how he has a problem with telling small lies cause he cant help himself and his girlfriend or friend who was a girl said she wouldn't talk to him anymore because he lies. And there was another friend who was a shrink or something who told him that he should not be talking to the girl for two months and she said something like "I’ll think about you then?????"
I was lost too. Mainly I was focusing on book titles as I was inching my way around the table displaying all the “Required Reading” books. I thought it was best to put something like a display table between me and crazy man. So as I am almost to the other side and about 3 minutes later after he approached he finally spits out his question, “What does that mean?”
I saw a graceful way to bow out and said I have no idea and walked away as he was calling behind me. “What do you mean?”
I kept looking over my shoulder to see if he was following me and for the cameras or Ashton telling me I have been punked.
I still love this country and the B&N where else in the world can you be confused if a guy is hitting on you, or a psychopath?
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Kigali Genocide Memorial
I will be posting some of my journal entries from the past year over the next few weeks. The following is my thoughts and feelings about the Genocide memorial in Kigali, Rwanda.
When they said never again after the holocaust was it meant for some other people?
–Apollon Kabahizi
April 6, 1994 the day the genocide in Rwanda began, I turned 18 the day before. The first moment in history that I distinctly remember was the Challenger exploding the second the Rwandan Genocide. I remember standing in my kitchen baking cookies, I was grounded for smoking cigarettes, and the image of a river running blood red filled with bodies flashed before my eyes. Even at the selfish age of 18 I was angry that no one was doing anything I was angry that the media, governments and the UN refused to call it what it was: Genocide Once again we are reminded the dark deeds humanity is able to achieve. This should have been a wake up call to my generation, to all of us but we enjoy our passivity and refused to be inconvenienced by other peoples problems until they become out own, and then we want instant resolution without struggle.
Over the weekend I traveled with Beth, Jeff and Josh to Kigali, Rwanda to visit memorials of this dark mark on our world history.
Kigali Genocide Memorial
The first memorial we visited is now home to the graves of 250,000 victims on the genocide. Gardens surround the graves and buildings, each garden symbolic such as the Children’s garden 11 mass graves were created, many of the coffins and tombs hold the remains of multiple people and families.
Once inside, the exhibit artfully simplifies the complicated events before, during, and after the genocide.
The Photo Room
I entered an octagon shaped room. On each side there are two steps leading up six separate cubbyholes where two walls meet at 90 degrees. It is in these cubbyholes where 2,000 images of victims hang. I sit on a small stool gazing at the images. There are photos documenting lives of all these people who died. Some are happy and some are sullen. Some of them are taken from government issued ID cards that included the tribe of the owner of course, sentencing him or her to death. I slowly turn around and realize that I have become part of the exhibit that I have become one of the faces, I am involved I am part of it. That no matter where in the world these events take places we are involved because we are human. It is our responsibility and we must take action. The international community fails again and again. We always claim later that we didn’t know or there was nothing that we could have done. We did it after the holocaust, in Cambodia, Afghanistan, and Rwanda. With mumbled apologies we pour money in to cover out guilt.
The clothing room
Clothing hangs vertically casting the illusions of the shapes of people who used to wear them. There is an image above one of the display cases it is a white Adidas shell toe with baby blue stripes. Ironically I had the same pair in 1994. Video plays on one wall. Survivors remember their experiences. One young woman says “I have hope they are children and grandchildren will have a better life, for mine is already destroyed.” The emotional trauma will be passed along to every generation following a darkness washed over a country a sadness permeating everything like a weed. I hope and pray that the dark cloud will dissipate over future generations. and that with time and restoration future generations will have the capacity to move past this horrific event.
Another “You cannot forgive if your do not know who to forgive”. How are you supposed to move on if you are constantly surrounded by people who may or may not have killed your family? How are you supposed to forgive when you do not know which neighbor killed your family?
The bone room
Skulls line cases around a dimly lit room, tool marks can be seen as slices or holes in the bones. Bones from legs, arms and ribs fill other cases as barely visible images of victims are projected onto the dark gray walls fading slowly into each other while the names of victims are read in a soft monotone breaking the silence of the near dark room.
The Children
Sitting in the children’s room the walls are vibrant orange providing a feeling of hopefulness for the future. Children’s photos grace the wall details of the child listed below it. After working for a year on child sponsorship it is information that I am well versed in until the last line under each photograph:
Age: 12
Favourite sport: Swimming
Favourite food: Eggs and chips
Favourite drink: Milk and Fanta tropical
Best friend: Her elder sister Claudette
Cause of death: Hacked by machete
Others are different and include
Shot to the head
Or the last thing said:
“mother where can I run?
It is children like these that I am helping only they are lucky they are alive and it is only in the North where they face this type of inhumanity.
There will be no humanity without forgiveness with out justice. But justice will be impossible without humanity. – Yolande Mukagasana
When they said never again after the holocaust was it meant for some other people?
–Apollon Kabahizi
April 6, 1994 the day the genocide in Rwanda began, I turned 18 the day before. The first moment in history that I distinctly remember was the Challenger exploding the second the Rwandan Genocide. I remember standing in my kitchen baking cookies, I was grounded for smoking cigarettes, and the image of a river running blood red filled with bodies flashed before my eyes. Even at the selfish age of 18 I was angry that no one was doing anything I was angry that the media, governments and the UN refused to call it what it was: Genocide Once again we are reminded the dark deeds humanity is able to achieve. This should have been a wake up call to my generation, to all of us but we enjoy our passivity and refused to be inconvenienced by other peoples problems until they become out own, and then we want instant resolution without struggle.
Over the weekend I traveled with Beth, Jeff and Josh to Kigali, Rwanda to visit memorials of this dark mark on our world history.
Kigali Genocide Memorial
The first memorial we visited is now home to the graves of 250,000 victims on the genocide. Gardens surround the graves and buildings, each garden symbolic such as the Children’s garden 11 mass graves were created, many of the coffins and tombs hold the remains of multiple people and families.
Once inside, the exhibit artfully simplifies the complicated events before, during, and after the genocide.
The Photo Room
I entered an octagon shaped room. On each side there are two steps leading up six separate cubbyholes where two walls meet at 90 degrees. It is in these cubbyholes where 2,000 images of victims hang. I sit on a small stool gazing at the images. There are photos documenting lives of all these people who died. Some are happy and some are sullen. Some of them are taken from government issued ID cards that included the tribe of the owner of course, sentencing him or her to death. I slowly turn around and realize that I have become part of the exhibit that I have become one of the faces, I am involved I am part of it. That no matter where in the world these events take places we are involved because we are human. It is our responsibility and we must take action. The international community fails again and again. We always claim later that we didn’t know or there was nothing that we could have done. We did it after the holocaust, in Cambodia, Afghanistan, and Rwanda. With mumbled apologies we pour money in to cover out guilt.
The clothing room
Clothing hangs vertically casting the illusions of the shapes of people who used to wear them. There is an image above one of the display cases it is a white Adidas shell toe with baby blue stripes. Ironically I had the same pair in 1994. Video plays on one wall. Survivors remember their experiences. One young woman says “I have hope they are children and grandchildren will have a better life, for mine is already destroyed.” The emotional trauma will be passed along to every generation following a darkness washed over a country a sadness permeating everything like a weed. I hope and pray that the dark cloud will dissipate over future generations. and that with time and restoration future generations will have the capacity to move past this horrific event.
Another “You cannot forgive if your do not know who to forgive”. How are you supposed to move on if you are constantly surrounded by people who may or may not have killed your family? How are you supposed to forgive when you do not know which neighbor killed your family?
The bone room
Skulls line cases around a dimly lit room, tool marks can be seen as slices or holes in the bones. Bones from legs, arms and ribs fill other cases as barely visible images of victims are projected onto the dark gray walls fading slowly into each other while the names of victims are read in a soft monotone breaking the silence of the near dark room.
The Children
Sitting in the children’s room the walls are vibrant orange providing a feeling of hopefulness for the future. Children’s photos grace the wall details of the child listed below it. After working for a year on child sponsorship it is information that I am well versed in until the last line under each photograph:
Age: 12
Favourite sport: Swimming
Favourite food: Eggs and chips
Favourite drink: Milk and Fanta tropical
Best friend: Her elder sister Claudette
Cause of death: Hacked by machete
Others are different and include
Shot to the head
Or the last thing said:
“mother where can I run?
It is children like these that I am helping only they are lucky they are alive and it is only in the North where they face this type of inhumanity.
There will be no humanity without forgiveness with out justice. But justice will be impossible without humanity. – Yolande Mukagasana
Suggestion to Lonely Planet
A couple of months ago my friends and i decided to take a road trip to Rwanda. Now most of us can easily transistion to drive on either side of the road or car or both. After awhile its all the same. But as we drove across the border into Rwanda we quickly realized we did not know what side to we drive on? The teacher in the group started looking rapidly through the lonely planet I was looking for any indication on the road and the driver was well concentrating on driving. luckily the front seat passenger saw a guy motioning for us to move to the right side of the road and a few moments later a semi truck came barreling down the lane we were just in. After some screams we burst out laughing and the tension broke.
So my question is why doesn't lonely planet list left side vs. right side driving in instruction on the very first page with population and currency? Following the rule of who was the colonial power doesn't work just look at Mozambique.
So my question is why doesn't lonely planet list left side vs. right side driving in instruction on the very first page with population and currency? Following the rule of who was the colonial power doesn't work just look at Mozambique.
New Mobile
I lasted four weeks in the US before surrendering to the mobile handcuffs. I ave a vague recollection of life before mobile technology. Somehow I survived my teens years without carrying a phone with me..... and I always found the party. I remember wandering around Europe excited that I could make plans to meet people in cities through email, this was before you could pop in a $2 sim and have a local number.
The emails went something like this: Hey I'm leaving Crete. Are you still in Greece? meet me at the port in Santorini Tuesday ill be on the morning ferry. If i don't see you there i am going to be watching the sunset in IA at least three times next week see you there.
that was it we didn't stress or text 40 more times. so i know that i can live and manage my life wife out the mobile handcuffs I am just making my life a little bit easier with them.
so to make something simple complicated.... (uganda must have taught me well) when all i am trying to say is I gave in and have a new number email me if you want an updated way to reach me 24/7
The emails went something like this: Hey I'm leaving Crete. Are you still in Greece? meet me at the port in Santorini Tuesday ill be on the morning ferry. If i don't see you there i am going to be watching the sunset in IA at least three times next week see you there.
that was it we didn't stress or text 40 more times. so i know that i can live and manage my life wife out the mobile handcuffs I am just making my life a little bit easier with them.
so to make something simple complicated.... (uganda must have taught me well) when all i am trying to say is I gave in and have a new number email me if you want an updated way to reach me 24/7
Sunday, January 4, 2009
back in the states
I've been back in the states for almost three weeks. i have loved seeing old friends and eating real Mexican, not our Ugandan version of Mexican food. I love that the beef here tastes the way my body thinks it should. I will forever and always love trader joes and costco. I have been bundled up since I got on the plane in Entebbe. A few days ago a friend posted a simple word on facebook "Kenya" my heart gave a little leap and I physically longed for the heat and humidity that drove me nuts so many days. Do we ever find contentment or is it in our discontent that drives us?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
hours to depart
I leave Uganda in a few hours. It’s strange that my count down moved from a vague realization that I would one day leave to my departure only being hours away. I have mixed feelings about leaving. I am excited to see everyone and be back in the structured and orderly world I am from but I will miss so many things about Uganda. Not knowing what is next makes it worse. The other night I was talking to one of my friends. We were talking about the strange turns in our lives and she said you know it’s weird that Africa is like your other home. It is weird, who would have thought that my life would take so many strange turns? Who would have thought that I would live in two worlds? Equally comfortable in small villages or the streets of Paris. Life is strange.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sick Again
I have been sick again. I am not sure if it is the stomach flu or food poisoning but for awhile I wanted to die. I am on the up and up but am still a little bit scared to actually eat food beyond crackers. Tonight I will try.
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